Living Louder
by DedicatedRusher
Summary: Liz has never been able hold a grudge. But when a certain guy comes back into her life, she isn't going to budge so easily and neither is he. He's determined to show her that he's changed and he's going to her help learn how to live louder. James/OC
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot, Liz, and other OCs to come**

EPILOGUE

It has been said that there is someone for everyone; that your soul mate is somewhere out there waiting for you. There are people that actually believe that their Prince Charming is out there, so they never stop looking for Mr. Right. . . _idiots_. Those are the people that get their heart broken time after time, yet they still dive back into love like they've never seen it before in their life. Hopeless romantics, that's what I like to call them. But I guess I'm a hypocrite, since I used to be one of those people. Yes, I did say USED. I once was a girl that got all wide-eyed and weak-kneed at every hot guy she saw. That was before I met James. He is the reason why today, Valentine's Day, I stay in my house and roll my eyes at all the love-blinded girls running around Los Angeles. I guess you could say I don't really believe in love anymore. I gave James everything and spilled my deepest secrets because I trusted him. Now I realize how big of a mistake that was. Because of him, I'm working two jobs, had to move back in with my parents, and am a single parent of a four-year-old. My name is Elizabeth (Liz) Parker, I'm 25, and this is my story.

**Author's Note: I know this is really short but I wanted to see if it was any good. Review? Please? :P**


	2. Weird Dreams

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR :'( (Quietly sobs in the corner)**

CHAPTER 1

_I was sitting on the couch, reading a book, when the doorbell rang. I got up and went over to the door and pulled it open. The person I discovered on the other side surprised me. He looked just like he always did (this included the cocky attitude radiating off of him) only he was a little older._

"_What are you doing here?" I asked him, calmly. I tried to keep my cool, but I wanted nothing more than go off on him. I wanted to yell at him for doing this to us. I wanted him to explain why he left when he said he never would._

"_I came to see you." he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world._

"_Why? It's not like you cared enough before to come see me." I replied just as quickly._

"_But I care now," he said lowering his voice. He walked a little closer to me and I made no attempt to stop him. He slowly leaned his head in and surprisingly, I found myself leaning in too. Just as our lips were about to touch, I heard a _RING! _of a cellphone. I looked at him but he just continued to stand there._

"_Aren't you going to answer that?" I asked him. It was getting really annoying._

"_Answer what?" he replied._

"_Your phone maybe?" my voice was filled with annoyance._

"_My phone's not ringing," he said showing me the screen of his cellphone. Sure enough, it wasn't ringing. Then where in the world was that sound coming from? The suddenly everything around me started fading to black… What was happening to me?_

I groaned as I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock going off. I thought about the dream I just had. That was the third time this week. I couldn't understand why I was having these dreams about him all of a sudden. It was time to talk to my mom again. She was the one I always went to went I was having conflicting emotions or going through something I couldn't understand. She always just sat and listened, even if it was over the most ridiculous things.

I lay in bed for another minute as the alarm continued to go off, but then, with each passing second, it got louder. I mumbled under my breath and then got up, went across the room and shut it off. I didn't want to get up but in order to make money, I had to. I do live with my parents, but I don't like relying on them. I feel like a slacker if I don't bring in some kind of income. I like to make my own money and show people that I can be a single parent and work two jobs and am able to handle it.

I trudged to my closet, picked out my outfit for the day, and then headed for the bathroom. I took a quick shower, blow-dried my hair, and then got ready for another day down at Hoskins, the local diner/drug store.

Hoskins is on the outskirts of LA so not a lot of people know about it unless you went there as a kid. It's the kind of place where everybody knows everybody. This is where my family would always go to eat when we came out to LA to visit my grandparents. I am originally from a small town in Tennessee (yes, I am a southern girl and I do have a slight accent) and by small, I mean like only a few thousand. A lot of people never understood why I liked living in that town, but it's because everyone does know everyone. When you walk down the street, you're not just another face that no one will ever remember. That's why I like working at Hoskins. The same people come in almost every day and it feels like I'm back home in Tennessee.

I turned off the light in the bathroom and then walked down the hallway and entered the last door on the right, Madeline's room. Madeline, or Maddie, is my four-year-old daughter. She is my entire world and practically my reason for living. I was about to go over to the toddler-sized, mini-bed to wake her up for preschool, when I felt my phone vibrate. It was from Sherry, the owner of Hoskins.

_Tom's sick, can you take his shift?_

I texted back a quick, _Yes_ and then went over to the bed to wake up Maddie. I then realized I hadn't totally thought that through. Tom had the night shift, so that meant I wouldn't get home until about 10 o'clock tonight. That means I'll have to ask Mom to pick Maddie up from school. It's a good thing I didn't have dance practice tonight, too. That would have really been bad. That is the other job I have. I am a dance instructor for teens ages 12-18 at a local dance studio in town.

Dancing is actually what brought me out to LA in the first place (after many persuasive arguments from my best friend, Nikki). Dancing was, and still is, my life. But back then, I was perfectly fine just being the semi-popular teenager that secretly danced in my bedroom at home. But, after a good 6 months of arguing with her, Nikki was the one that finally convinced me to come out here and pursue this. I mean, I knew I could dance, but I never considered doing it professionally.

So, two months later, my family packed our bags, sold our house, and moved out to Los Angeles, California. It wasn't really a hard decision for my parents, because my mom wanted to be closer to my grandparents anyway.

After arriving here, I realized how much I really wanted to do this. So, I went to audition after audition, and then finally landed a job as a background dancer/choreographer for the band Big Time Rush. I couldn't understand why they're manager, Gustavo, wanted me to be a choreographer, but I later found out he was desperate and was running out of options.

I still remember the first day I meet and worked with the guys. I actually met Logan, one of the guys in the band, first. I ran into him earlier that morning on the street. Even though it was seven years ago (I was 18 when I moved out to LA), it still feels like it was yesterday. Today, it is still one of the most distinct memories I have. . .

**Author's Note: What do you guys think? Like? Chapter 2 will be the flashback of when she first meets the guys :) And to the people who have added this story to their favorites/alerts: THANK YOU! 333**


	3. Meeting Logan

**Author's Note: I'M SOOOOO SORRY! I've just been really busy with school and all of that jazz. Anyway, time for an update! YAY! I did split the flashback in half because I wanted to keep it going. Hope you like :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR**

CHAPTER 2

*FLASHBACK*

To say that I was nervous would be an understatement. I was straight-up terrified. Today is the first day of my new job at Rocque Records and I'm feeling very conflicted. I mean I'm excited because I get to dance as a job. How cool is that? But I'm nervous because of many different things. What if I mess up? What if I fall on my butt, or I trip and land on my face? What if I don't live up to their expectations? What if the band hates me? This is the kind of thing that has been running through my mind all morning. Mom practically through me out of the house a couple of hours ago because I was driving her crazy. She gave me fifty bucks and my phone and told me to go take a walk.

So here I am; walking down the street in LA, looking at the beautiful scenery and all the tourists. I must have been more distracted than I thought because the next thing I knew, I was on the ground being blinded by the sun.

"I am _so_ sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going!" I heard a male voice say. The sun in my vision was soon blocked by, what I assumed was the face of the male. He held out his hand to help me up and I gratefully accepted.

When I got up, I got a full look at the guy. He was at least four inches taller than me, maybe 5'9" and had spiked, brown hair. His eyes were a shade of chocolate brown that made me want to melt. I had to admit, he was attractive. When he saw me staring he gave me a crooked grin, which didn't help the staring situation. I remembered that I still hadn't said anything, so I quickly collected myself and gave him a smile.

"It's okay. I wasn't really paying attention either." We both moved to the far end of the sidewalk because we were blocking other people.

"I'm Logan," he said holding out his hand.

"Elizabeth, but everyone calls me Liz." I said back, shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Liz." he said, smiling.

"Nice to meet you too, Logan. Maybe I'll see you around sometime." I awkwardly started to walk away when I heard my name being called.

"Hey, Liz?" I turned around and saw Logan walking up to me. "I know we just met, but would you like to go grab a cup of coffee with me?" He must have the apprehensive look on my face because he quickly continued. "I really am sorry for running into you, so I would like to make it up to you." It was going to be really hard to deny that boy, so I didn't any attempt to.

"Yeah, I would really like that." I said with a smile.

So Logan and I walked to the Starbucks down the street and got a cup of coffee. We sat at a table near the window and talked about anything and everything. We talked about our hobbies, our favorite things, and our lives back home. I told him I came out to LA to be a dancer. Before he had time to explain why he was here, his phone started ringing.

"I'm sorry," he said while looking at the Caller I.D. While he answered his phone, I decided to check my messages. I saw that I had a new text from Kelly, Gustavo Rocque's assistant.

_Make sure you're at the studio by2:00!_

I checked the time and saw that it was already 1 o'clock. I needed to get home and get changed. I did _not_ want to be late on the first day. I looked up and saw that Logan was just getting off the phone. I hate having to leave like this, but I didn't have a choice. I was trying to find a nice way to leave, when Logan spoke up.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I need to be a work in half an hour and can't be late." He looked like he didn't want to leave but, I totally understood his situation.

"It's okay, I need to get ready for work anyway." As we walked out of Starbucks and went our separate ways, I realized how nice he was. I then mentally kicked myself for not getting his number. I finally meet a nice person in this town, and I was too caught up in my thoughts to remember something so simple.

I finally got home twenty minutes later and quickly changed into my dancing clothes. I wrote a note for mom telling her I was going to rehearsal and then left as soon as I was done.

By the time I got into the lobby of Rocque Records, I only had ten minutes left. I quickly asked the receptionist where to go and soon I was in front of the elevator. I was pounding on the elevator button like my life depended on it. Well, I'm pretty sure it did; my dancing life that is. The door finally opened and I quickly went inside. When I finally arrived on the right floor, I saw Kelly standing at the end of the hallway waiting for me.

"Welcome to Rocque Records, Liz." She said, greeting me with a smile. In the distance I could hear music playing, stopping, and then a man yelling.

"Thanks, glad to be here." I hoisted my duffel bag higher on my shoulder and followed her down the hallway. The further we walked, the louder the yelling got. I knew it was Gustavo. He had yelled at me enough during my audition to last a lifetime.

We soon approached a glass door, where I could see the band trying to learn a new dance. Kelly silently led me inside and I watched as Mr. X (one of the choreographers I had met during my audition) rubbed his temples in frustration. I looked over at the band standing in the middle of the room.

There were four guys, but my gaze was focused on one of the shorter ones in the middle. There was something about him that looked familiar. I felt like I knew him from somewhere…

After a few more moments, and a brief look at the side of his face, I finally figured it out.

"Logan?" I asked, shocked. He turned around to find who had said his name. When he found it was me, he also had a similar expression on his face.

"Liz?"

**Author's Note: What did ya think? Good? Bad? I'm sorry that it was short (again)! I need to learn to write longer chapters... Rest of the flashback will be in the next chapter :)**


	4. Show Some Respect

**I'M SOOOO SORRY! I've been really busy with midterms and I haven't had time to upload, but I thought I would give you this little chapter :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't BTR or Twitter**

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><p>CHAPTER 3<p>

"What are you doing here?" Logan asked as he walked over to me. The other guys looked really confused, so they just watched the exchange between us.

"Oh, it was what I was going to tell you earlier. I'm-", I was interrupted by Gustavo.

"She is your new choreographer! Since you dogs run every single one off, I have to keep getting you new ones! NOW, I'm off to write another song. When I get back I want this dance to be PERFECT!" Gustavo then stormed out of the studio with Kelly following.

"Okay, then," I mumbled to myself. I turned back to Mr. X, Logan, and the other guys (whose names I have yet to learn) "So, what are we dealing with here, X?" I was prepared for the worst, but how bad can it really be? I mean, I teach dance classes to 15 kids under the age of 10 and if I can handle that then I can handle this.

Mr. X was about to reply when pretty boy decided to speak up. "We are starting the tour next month and Gustavo wants us to learn all of these ridiculous routines."

"They aren't ridiculous, James! You all are just unwilling to learn!" Mr. X yelled at him. I decided to jump in before things got out of control.

"Okay, here's the plan. I'll go stand in the corner and watch you guys. Mr. X will make another attempt at teaching you the routine and then we'll see where we need to go from there. Okay?" I asked looking at all them. They nodded their heads and took their position while I went to the corner of the room.

I watched as the Mr. X walked the guys through the routine. It was simple enough so I couldn't understand why they weren't getting it. Then I noticed a common theme. They kept getting distracted. Blonde and Eyebrows (who I later learned was Kendall) kept getting on this phone and constantly checking his messages. James kept pulling a comb and a mirror out every 3 minutes to fix his appearance. Carlos was doing something with a helmet on his head (I was afraid to ask) and Logan kept staring at me. He had this slightly guilty look on his face so I figured he felt bad for cutting our coffee plans short. I knew this was when I had to step in.

"Okay, I think I've seen enough." I started pacing in front of the band. "You know what this band's problem is? They don't care. They don't care because they are too focused on all their other crap that has no relevance!" I yelled. I looked at the guys that made up BTR, and they all seemed pretty scared. They should be.

"You all need to get rid of all distractions," I said, grabbing a box from the corner. I walked to where I stood in front of James. "Comb," I simply stated, holding out the box. He shrieked in horror and held his comb close to his body. I shrugged and went on to Carlos. I was going to get the comb eventually so there was no point in me losing my voice, arguing with him in the process.

"Helmet," I said to Carlos. He did the same as James, so I simply moved on. I stood in front of Kendall and Logan last. "Phones." I got the same reaction from Kendall (which I expected), but was surprised when Logan reached into his pocket and placed his iPhone in the cardboard box. I gave him a small smile and turned to place the box by the glass door. When I turned around, I saw that Kendall was back on his phone.

"Since you're on your phone, yet again Kendall, why don't you get on Twitter?"

"Why?"

"Just do it," I watched as he got onto Twitter. "Look at your mentions," I said, still slightly irritated.

"Yeah, there's a lot. What about it?"

"Those are your fans, Kendall. "

"And…?"

"Do you love your fans?" I asked him, trying to get to the point.

"They're Rushers," he remarked.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Our fans aren't our "fans", they're our Rushers."

I looked at Kendall and the rest of the guys and I realized how much they loved their fans. They sincerely cared about them and I could tell just by the smiles on their faces when they talked about them. This was how I was going to get through to them.

"Okay then, do you love your Rushers?" I asked, rephrasing the question.

"Of course I do,"

"Then why aren't you showing them the respect they deserve?" I asked. He looked at me confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Rushers make t-shirts, bracelets and the glittery signs for you guys. They get to your concert HOURS early just so you can hear them scream outside of your dressing room. They tweet you every day just so you know that your music has somehow impacted their lives. Rushers give 110 percent and then some. If you love them, then try showing them some respect by putting down the damn phone, get off your ass, and get this dance right. If they're going to devote months of their lives to you, then you're going to make this tour perfect. "

The guys looked at me, and what I just said finally sank in. Silently, Kendall, James, and Carlos walked over to the box by the door and placed their items into it. They took first position and I then proceeded to teach them the dance. Within the next half hour, they had it down perfectly.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I'm sorry it's so short but I wanted to give you guys SOMETHING new to read :) Remember to press that review button ;) I really want to know what you guys think. Thanks 333<strong>


	5. I did, I do

8:22

Was the clock broken? It had to be, the time hadn't changed the last six times I looked at it. But all those times had been within the last thirty seconds...

8:23

I sighed and and started to wipe down the counter for the fifth time even though no one new had come in since the last time I cleaned it. This is one reason why I hate the late shift at Hoskins; no business. But the quietness does give you plenty of time to think, and that's exactly what I did.

The first thing I thought of? Why in the world was I having those stupid dreams? I shouldn't care about him. He was the one that walked out on us. He was the one that didn't want to be a father. So why did I want kiss him every time I saw him in my dream?

Did I secretly want him back just so I could have that family that I want for my child? Was it just for Maddie? Or did I…do I still love him? I mean I loved him even after he walked out of my front door saying he didn't want any part of me. I still loved him after he told me we should have never gotten together, because I knew he didn't mean it. At least that's what I thought...

I was pulled out of my thoughts by my phone vibrating in my apron pocket. Since no one was there, I checked the message to find it was from my mom.

_Don't kill me, okay?_

Sent 8:31 PM

What? What does that even mean? Before I had a chance to reply, a chime rang throughout the small diner, indicating someone had just walked in the front door. I quickly put my phone up and put on a smile, ready to take care of the new customer that had just walked in. But the smile quickly fell when I saw who it was.

He walked up to the counter and sat on a bar stool and just stared at me. Besides the more mature clothing and and a few more celebrated birthdays, he looked like the same old cocky, arrogant smartass I knew (or thought I knew) just years before.

"Can I help you?" I asked, annoyance obvious in my voice.

"Well, I was hoping the guy that fathered your child would receive a warmer reception." I scoffed and chuckled darkly at him. He put a faux-shocked look on his face and I rolled my eyes.

"What do you want James?"

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><p><strong>Thoughts? I know it's short! This is the only place I could think of to stop it though. Next one will be longer, full of drama. <strong>

**I need at least 3 reviews this time. I feel like no one likes this story and I just need the reassurance. I know that sounds selfish but it helps me write these faster.**


	6. What Do You Want?

"What do you want James?"

I was expecting him to make a typical James Diamond comeback. Snarky, egotistical, and just downright I-wanna-punch-you-in-the-face annoying. But I was surprised when he hesitates with his answer.

"I-I wanted to…" James stops talking and starts picking at the duct tape holding down the laminated menu on the countertop.

"You wanted to what, James?"

"Apologize," he says, head still down. What he says surprises me. What does he have to apologize for? I haven't seen him in almost five years.

"For what?"

"For being a dick, for leaving the love of my life, for leaving you and my baby to manage on your own …for everything. I'm sorry," he says finally looking up, his eyes meeting mine.

I was speechless. I was surprised. I was a lot of things. One thing I wasn't? Happy, joyous, elated, or any other similar synonym. I was kinda pissed, to be honest. Did he think he could just comes waltzing in, say he was sorry, and everything would be like it was before? I sighed and looked him.

"Do you think that saying sorry is all it's going to take? Think again. You should've tried saying that five years ago. Saying sorry is not going to fix years of stress, struggling, and tears…from Maddie and I both. Saying sorry is not going to fix the look on your daughter's face when I had to tell her that Daddy wasn't going to be around like Mommy, Grandma, and Grandpa were! Sorry is not going to fix the tears I had to dry when she wanted to know why Daddy didn't want her! Why she wasn't good enough for a Daddy! SORRY is not going to fix _my_ tears when I wondered what _I_ did wrong!"

By the end of it, I had tears streaming down my face and, frankly, I didn't care. As cruel as this may sound, he deserves to see what he did to me. He deserves to see five years of stress, torment, and difficulties coming out. I looked to his face and saw nothing short of despair and anguish. I figured this was the perfect opportunity to ask the question that has kept me up too many nights to count. I wiped my eyes, cleared my throat.

"All I want to know, James, is why. If you're feeling guilty about your decision, which I believe you are, why did you do it in the first place?"

He took several moments before he finally spoke up. "I was scared, okay? Everything just happened so fast and I was scared to face reality. I just kinda figured that if I ignored that one night and pretended it never happened then I would wake up and realize it was all an insane dream and we hadn't done anything. That we hadn't confessed that we liked each other. That we hadn't kissed. That we hadn't said 'I love you'…"

"But it did happen James," I said softly, the anger dying down.

"I know and once I realized it was real, I got scared and ran. I mean, I know we were both 21 but that didn't mean I was anymore prepared to become a father. I was terrified that I was going to somehow corrupt our child," he says gently laughing. "But more than that, I was scared I was going to be a terrible dad and they were going to end up hating me. I guess I still ended up with the same result…" James plays with the many ornate and intricate bracelets that decorate his right wrist, grazing his thumb over the colorful beads.

I walk around the counter, grab James' arm and lead him over to one of the many plastic-covered booths against the wall. As he sits on the opposite side, I pull out my phone. James looks at me curiously as scan through my photos. When I find the right one, I place the device on the table in front of him. A small smile spreads across his face as he looks at the picture of Maddie.

"This is your daughter?"

"No," I say. James looks at me confused. "This is _our_ daughter."

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><p><strong>Thoughts? I really want to know what you guys think otherwise I won't know how to fix something if you don't like it. Review please!<strong>


	7. Ferdinand the Bull

**I have no excuse for my lack of updates. Just me being lazy. Because of that I decided to give you guys a long chapter. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush (sobs quietly in the corner)**

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><p>James continued to stare at the phone with a small smile plastered on his face. I could see his eyes darting back and forth across the screen as he tried to memorize every aspect of Maddie's face. From her slightly pouty lips and hazel eyes she got from James to her button nose and brunette curls she got from me, he analyzed it all, determined to seek out every detail that made up our daughter.<p>

"I bet she has your personality," he says, glancing up to meet my eyes. As soon as the sentence left James' mouth I wanted to laugh. Maddie in no way had my personality.

"Please. What do you think she uses those pouty lips and puppy dog hazel eyes for? She's, one way or another, gotten every boy at preschool wrapped around her finger. Maddie even convinced her teacher last week that she was too old for a nap. But guess who had to clean her up when she fell asleep in her mashed potatoes that night at dinner?" James' laughter filled the small diner as I continued to describe how it was nearly impossible to get the potatoes out of a sleeping Maddie's hair.

"For the record," James spoke up, "I never used my eyes or my 'pouty lips' to manipulate people."

"As if. Maddie can get practically anything she wants with the use of those eyes and I can never say no. Every time she does it I think of you because you would do the same thing to me to get out of dance rehearsal when Gustavo left me in charge."

"Let me rephrase my last statement. I only ever used my eyes to manipulate _you_," he said leaning forward on the table with a small smirk panting his lips.

"Why?"

"I would like to say it was just the enjoyment of getting you aggravated but, honestly, it was to get out of the dance rehearsals from hell. Do you realize how grueling your routines were? I'd go home every single day feeling like someone had lit my muscles on fire."

"That's because you never stretched when I told you to and when you did, you did it wrong," I remarked. It wasn't my fault he was so damn stubborn.

"That's true," James chuckles.

"I'm sorry, did I just hear James Diamond admit he was wrong? I'm shocked!" I said, theatrically fake gasping.

"Well I'm shocking a lot of people lately," he said while staring at his wrist, playing with the bracelets once again. I wonder what the importance of them was.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when you tell people one day that you have a kid and you were too big of a coward to man up and stick around to support it, you get some shocked looks," he answers quietly.

"You told people? Why?" I asked shocked. The whole reason James left me and Maddie in the first place was because he was afraid that having a baby was going to ruin his career. James' biggest fear in the world, I know for a fact, is that he is going to lose it all. Lose everything that he has worked so hard for. He may seem like an arrogant dick, which he mostly is, but part of that mask was to cover up the fact that he was terrified to make any decision about his career. One wrong move that early on was just a further invitation for his career to crash and burn.

"Because I was tired of hiding. I was tired of having to lie to the guys about you, about Maddie, about everything that was going on between us back then. The band has taken up practically every second of my life for the past six years and I'm tired of it controlling my life."

"Are you saying you're done with the band?"

"As of now, no. I love performing too much. But if me being in the band is going to keep me from living the life I want to live then, yeah, I'll leave," he says somberly.

"What kind of life do you want to live?"

"One that includes you and our daughter. I don't want Maddie to grow up without a father anymore. My dad left when I was little and I never forgave him for it. I never understood how a father could just abandon their child. I swore to myself that I would never become one of those people. I guess I'm eating my own words now…"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but being a parent is a lot harder than it looks. I don't want to bring you into her life if you're just going to disappear again," I say honestly. Maddie just got passed the stage when she asks everyday why she doesn't have a daddy like all the other kids at school, the last thing I want to do is explain why Daddy left again. Not to mention, I don't think _I_ could handle James leaving again. "You do also realize that I can't just go up to her and be like 'Hey Maddie, meet Daddy!' right?"

"Yeah, I realize that. Just introduce me as one of your friends. And as far as me leaving again? I can guarantee you that I will not make that mistake again," he says seriously, staring into my eyes long enough to make me uncomfortable. Pushing that feeing aside, I saw the genuine emotion in his eyes. I could tell he wanted this to work and I did too but there was no way he was getting off the hook that easy.

"How about we catch up first and you can find out whatever you want to find out about Maddie and then we'll talk about where to go from there?"

"Okay," he says with a small smile, "So where do we begin?"

"Wherever you want to. I'm an open book over here."

"When's her birthday?" he asks, looking back down at my cell phone that is still sitting on the table in front of him. Scrolling through more pictures of Maddie, the smile from earlier creeps back onto his face.

"Madeline Hensley Parker, born April 11, 2007 at 6:15 pm. She was 5 pounds 15 ounces."

"Why so tiny?" James asks, glancing up from the phone, with a hint of concern in his voice.

"She was born a month early, her due date was May 10. But she was perfectly fine," I added with a smile to ease his concerns, "just small."

"That's good," he says, handing me my phone back. "Could you send some of those pictures to me?"

"Sure. Your number still the same?" I ask scrolling to his contact that I never deleted.

"Yeah it is. Liz, you still have it in there? I thought that with everything that happened you would have wanted to delete every memory of me."

"I guess I always had this hope that you were going to call and wake me up from my horrible nightmare…" I trailed off. The next few minutes were silent and slightly awkward as I proceeded to send James the photos of Maddie I had on my phone.

"Look Liz, I really am sor-," James was cut short when my phone started ringing. I mumbled out a quick 'sorry' to James before I clicked the accept button.

"Hello?"

"Mommy?" I heard Maddie's voice on the other side of the line. I glanced at the clock on the far wall to look at the time. It was 9:15. What was she still doing up?

"Maddie?" I could see James' face perk up as I mentioned our daughter. "Sweetheart, why are you still up? It's way past your bedtime."

"Not sweepy," she replies even though I can hear the yawn in her voice.

"Why are you not sleepy?" I ask her leaning back against the plastic-covered back of the booth.

"You not read me Bully," she says, disappointment obvious in the tone of her voice. I immediately knew what she was taking about. 'Bully' was Ferdinand the bull. Every night since she was born, I would read her The Story of Ferdinand while she was in bed. Now, she won't go to sleep unless I read it to her. But now it's gotten to the point where I don't need the book anymore because I've memorized the entire thing.

"Do you want me to read you Bully?"

"Uh huh," she muffled as I could hear her getting comfortable in her bed.

"Once upon a time in Spain there was a little bull and his name was Ferdinand. All the other little bulls he lived with would run and jump and butt their heads together, but not Ferdinand. He liked to sit just quietly and smell the flowers. He had a favorite spot out in the pasture under a cork tree. It was his favorite tree and he would sit in its shade all day and smell the flowers." I glanced at James and saw an amused/shocked look on his face. I was about to continue on with the story when Mom came on the line.

"Hey, she's out," she said as I could hear Maddie's bedroom door closing.

"I'll see you when you get home, okay?"

"Okay, bye Mom."

"Bye honey." I hung up the phone and put it back in my apron pocket. When I looked at James again he had a smile plastered on his face.

"What was that about?"

"What? The story? I read it to Maddie every night before she goes to bed."

"I figured that, but in order to read a bedtime story don't you need the book?"

"James, I've read it every night for the past five years. I've got the whole thing memorized by now."

"Really?" he taunts, "Well go ahead Mommy, finish the story."

"Why?" I ask with a chuckle.

"Because I want to hear the rest of the story!" he says, breaking off into a fit of laughter at the end. Eventually I just give in and continue to tell him the rest of the story of Ferdinand the bull.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? I feel like a lot of you guys are losing interest in this story…<strong>


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